


Him & I

by Jess_MC



Category: Love Victor (TV 2020)
Genre: Cheating, Drug Use, Drunk Sex, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-05
Updated: 2020-09-05
Packaged: 2021-03-06 20:47:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 474
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26305111
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jess_MC/pseuds/Jess_MC
Summary: What if Victor had met Benji at his worst?
Relationships: Benjamin "Benji" Campbell/Victor Salazar
Comments: 8
Kudos: 19





	Him & I

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by [Him & I ](https://youtu.be/SA7AIQw-7Ms)

Music blasting through the speakers, it's not even possible to understand the lyrics anymore, why try? Everything is a blur, a nice one, there's nothing to worry about in this place, at this moment. Nothing matters when this party is not like the others, the rich kids aren't here, Andrew and his crew is not here, Mia is not here. There's only faces I'm seeing for the first time and a couple from people I've never spoke before. It's like paradise, it's just my soul moving with the bodies, and no one cares if I fall face first onto the floor.

Maybe the floor isn't that bad, maybe the floor is made of clouds, or maybe is not the floor at all.

A pair of lips on my neck, a mark I won't be able to cover up by myself, that I'll be hiding for a week pretending everything is the same. Saying I love you with the mouth that's now full of someone else. Reaching for something that isn't mine.

I can feel the warm tears, are those mine? Is it bliss? Is it pain? Nothing matters.

Benji, that's what I hear but it's not his voice. Did he say something at all? Nothing matters, everything is black now.

* * *

The half smile is back a few days later in the school halls, the heat of his body so close, but we're not touching. Mia's words dissolve into thin air, drowned by his laugh, attacking me with all the memories of that night. Only a mistake, one after the other. Stop fantasizing, it's never gonna happen. It's time to go. Mia's still smiling with her whole face, a brief kiss makes her close her eyes, and there's a hand pressing my back pocket, a note, my ticket to hell.

* * *

We're running in the night, laughing at nothing while our fingers cross. It's like seeing through a lens, his face is the only thing that's not unfocused. I forget, my name, my address, her kisses, her gifts, but never his laugh, never his eyes, the hot touch of his fingers in the cold, the moans of pleasure when there's no one else around.

The tears. The tears are always there, in the deep of his heart or falling on my shirt. The taste is bitter like the alcohol in his mouth, but it leaves him mute like the smoke from his cigarrettes. Everything matters, except when it doesn't, when there's nothing but drugs numbing us all.

* * *

The secret that keeps us together also breaks us. A loud crash and silence. Screams and sobs. Who's to blame? It's a secret after all. We can't tell no one. We can't stay. There's blood and broken glass, but there are no goodbyes. The truth is out. Bury it again. Kill the lies, kill the feelings. Keep it warm.

**Author's Note:**

> Let me know if you like it! I'm open to feedback (English is not my first language) and if I should create a structured story from this or leave as it is.


End file.
